Mindful Divorce
Getting divorced can be both financially and emotionally draining, but the process of dissolving a marriage does not need to be a battleground. You may experience feelings of loss, anger, confusion and conflict.
However, it is possible to create a fair divorce agreement that helps both you and your former partner to move on with dignity, self-respect and hope for the future intact. This mindful approach to divorce asks you to prioritize your choices and negotiate for what is most important to you rather than fight for what you feel you deserve.
I work with people to help them clarify their choices and explore the various options available.
The dissolution process
What process do you want to use to dissolve your partnership? In California you have three approaches to choose from: litigation, mediation and collaboration.
Litigation involves you hiring a lawyer who will represent you in court. The attorney’s job is to secure the most advantageous settlement for you in opposition to your former partner. The process is undertaken through the courts and costs are unpredictable and often very expensive.
Mediation involves you and your former partner meeting with a trained mediator who assists you in discovering common interests and evaluate solutions to move forward. The mediator is a neutral party whose objective is to help you reach a mutual agreement. It is less expensive, time-intensive and contentious than divorcing through the courts.
Collaboration involves a team approach in which you and your former partner each consult with an attorney, financial specialist and a coach to identify your choices and negotiate a mutually beneficial agreement. The team works toward a respectfully created settlement that is supportive of both parties and does not involve the courts.
Drawing upon my years working in a Family Law practice, I will help you understand your options and how they apply to your individual situation in order to assist you in determining which is the best process for you.
Coaching through divorce
My objective as your coach during the divorce process is to help you acknowledge and accept what is happening in your relationship and for you to discover how to best move forward. This can be a daunting and confusing time in your life. I will help you decide what you really want and achieve the goals that you set for yourself. You will clarify your own strengths, determine your personal values and use both to overcome the strong emotions that can take over during a divorce.
I will support you during this challenging time, guide you through the process, and help you coordinate and manage the various components of the divorce.
As your coach I will help you:
- Navigate the divorce process you choose (litigation, mediation or collaboration)
- Recognize and manage your emotions with respect to yourself and others
- Develop skills for civil communication with your partner so that you can collaborate effectively
- Determine the best way to provide a healthy environment for your children against the backdrop of what is happening in your relationship
- Take care of yourself, identify what you value, reconnect with your passion and refocus your life
- Evaluate your future options in light of the significant change that is is taking place in your relationship
Resources and referrals
In my years of working on divorce cases, I’ve had the great fortune to collaborate with some excellent, likeminded professionals. When it comes to legal counsel, I highly recommend Rachel Castrejon in San Rafael and Matthew Briggs also in San Rafael.